I ramble. I post. I divulge in secrets. I express thoughts and feelings. I seek the great perhaps. I am constantly trapped in an abyss of thoughts. My ears are always exposed to music. I live. I breathe. I am human. Tonight my sky cries glitter and my soul screams and takes it all in. My life is an oil spill of emotion. I'll keep this blog on a personal note, and only for the simple fact that I'm living for an audience of one.
~all pictures go to their rightful owners. no copyright intended.
I’m literally so over today… Can the fireworks just stop now please? Seriously, it sounds like a damn war zone outside and my pups and kitty are scared half to death. I’ve had some pretty lame 4th Of Julys and birthdays, but I think this year is definitely gonna top them all in the boring and lonely department. I’m beyond exhausted, all alone, haven’t eaten all day, WAY too much on my mind. I just wanna get out and have some fun, let loose and enjoy life, forget about my troubles and worries awhile, and make good memories surrounded by great people. This definitely is NOT how I pictured my 4th of July/birthday going this year… Sigh…
When you lose someone, someone you love, when they break your heart, it’s the hardest thing you could ever go through. And no matter how much time has passed, it never really goes away. You may think you’re getting better, but then you get a flashback, or you hear a song that reminds you of a memory, and it hits you all over again, all at once, like a stab in the chest. You fall apart for the hundredth time and you feel like you want to crawl under a rock and never come out. You love this person with all of your heart, even though you know you probably shouldn’t because they’ve hurt you worse than you’ve ever been hurt before. They stole your happiness, but yet, you still want them, and only them. Other people may come along and give you chances to move on, but you know you don’t want to. It upsets you that you might be moving on, because you promised you never would. And even if they broke all their promises, you want to keep yours. On top of that, you’re terrified. You’re terrified of getting hurt again. But it’s not like it matters anyway, because at the end of the day you’re still thinking about the person who has left you completely broken. You don’t want to miss them anymore, you don’t want to love them anymore, but you know you always will. It’s hard to wait around for something you know might never happen, but it’s even harder to give up when you know it’s everything you want. You don’t need another human to make your life complete, but let’s be honest. Having your wounds kissed by someone who doesn’t see them as disasters in your soul but cracks to put their love into is the most calming thing in this world.